Death, Growth or Life?

It's been a while since I've posted anything and let's face it things were crazy for a while between the end of the semester, the wedding, packing, moving, unpacking...you know all those great things that come with having tons of new life events all happening at once.  And since then, well I've been busy be-ing and settling into this new life. 

Three weeks ago I started my internship in Kittson County, MN which is the most North Westernly corner of the state.  This internship is unique as it is made of up 3 different parishes cooperating together which gives me a grand total of 3 pastors and 5 churches to work with, not to mention Frank's church's which both seem to claim me as well.  Despite all the differences I already have and am yet to encounter there seems to be one overarching theme they all have in common; death.  I'm not talking funerals, although those happen quite a bit.  I'm talking about the common held belief that they are all part of dying congregations.  Considering this area has seen drastic decline not only in church membership but in overall population over the past few decades this is a fair assessment.  Some of the towns in the area have simply ceased to be with only a handfull of houses and an old grain elevator sitting along the railroad tracks to remind us that hundreds of people once lived there.  It's a cold hard fact that some, if not many of these communities and churches will silently slip off our maps without much notice.  This fact does not worry me nearly as much  as the fact that these churches identify themselves in such a way.

So often I've heard that if a church isn't growing it's dying or at least has one foot in that direction.  Why is it that we are so fixated on growth.  Yes, growth is great and amazing but in a place that has fewer and fewer people every year is it really the goal?  I've only been at these churches for a few weeks and have barely brushed the surface of their depth and breadth and yet I've already gotten the feeling that they are in the same boat as many other churches across the country; in survival mode and wondering why it is they haven't seen a new face in their doors for a long long time.  I'd like to point out that this has nothing to do with hospitality but is very much a numbers game and the numbers are simply not in their favor.

With all these things working against them and with death staring them in the face, how do we encourage them to live?  How do we shift their focus from that of death to life?  How do we help them to see themselves as a vibrant, faithful community full of the life of Christ?  They may be dying but that doesn't mean they have to go quietly.  It doesn't mean they have to simply slip away with no legacy.  It doesn't mean there is no hope or that it's ok to simply give up and sustain.  How do we help them, and ourselves for that matter, to stop worrying about growth, embrace death and live?

The End

With this week comes the end of my 10 week experiment to eat as sustainably as possible.  There were times it was difficult and my cravings for bananas or off season produce won out, but overall I think I did pretty well.  I bought as much as I could that was organic and now that the farmer's markets are open I get to buy local as well.  It was certainly a hit on my finances as the organic section is a bit more expensive than the regular corporately grown section.  That being said though, I enjoyed my food more.  It just tasted better.  Seriously, organic sweet potatoes are the best things I've EVER eaten! 

When I entered into this experiment I did it because we were asked to as part of a class but I also chose this because of the readings I'd done about all the chemicals in our food.  I didn't want them in my body and I'd rather support farmer's who don't put them in the ground and in our water.  It was a very personal choice to try and be the best steward I could be of the Earth.  This was a decision of the mind and I didn't expect a bodily response and yet that is what sticks out to me the most at the end of these 10 weeks.  I still think about the planet and the chemicals and all that stuff but what I see and hold onto tightly is the change I've experienced within my body.  I have always had digestive troubles and took them to be a way of life.  Yet, as I sit here, 10 weeks after eating primarily organic foods, I feel amazing with very few of those troubles I've had for years.  I have more energy and more endurance throughout the day.  It is certainly true, that what we eat fuels our bodies and apparently cutting out many of those chemicals has allowed my body to heal in a lot of ways.  I'm not saying this is miraculous or that I was healed of some disease but I do feel better and feel as though my body is more in sync with itself than it's ever been before.  It's been an interesting 10 weeks and I'm not sure I can go back to what I ate before.

Farmer's Market Season is Here!

Well it's official, the farmer's markets are once again finding their full stride as the days get longer and the sun feels warmer!   I've been attending the St. Paul farmer's market on and off all winter to pick up some tasty treats from my favorite meat guys at Bar 5 Meats as well as other fabulous products such as honey, local goat cheese and even chocolate products but the season has finally warranted weekly trips.  This weekend I was delighted when I was able to buy asparagus, spinach, radishes, rhubarb, spring onions, oyster mushrooms, bacon, eggs, chicken breasts and some fabulous black pepper linguini!  I basically got what I needed for the week's lunches and dinners.  All this food is locally grown and although some of it is not "organic" most of it is "all natural" a distinction that I'm finding is rather silly.  The lovely people at Bar 5 rolled their eyes when I asked and said, "it's all natural" meaning it's organic without the government stamp of approval.  Either way it's tasty not to mention an adventure to come up with meals as you see what kinds of amazing produce you can find!

This week I've been having spinach salads or egg salad with lots of veggies for lunch and an amazing pasta dish with that black pepper linguini, chicken, spring onions, mushrooms and asparagus.

If you've never been to a farmer's market, you should take a half an hour to check one out.  They are full of amazingly tasty food and even more amazing people who have brought it to you.

Simpler Living

This is a must read book or at the very least a book to make sure is on your shelf to pull out from time to time.  This is a book that is full of essays from amazing writers and advocates for a different way of living.  They bring up topics that will challenge the way you live, how you view time, how and what you eat and pretty much how our culture is.  It is not easy to read at times because it challenges the very heart of our being.  I will admit that I still haven't finished reading this book for this very reason.  I have needed time to struggle with these topics and decide how I will respond to them.  In a previous post I mentioned how I was startled by a section on time and had to put the book down and stop exhausting myself in my endeavor to get one more class assignment done.

Since I have been focusing on my food choices for this class, I skipped ahead to a section on the social and environmental impact of our every day food choices.  In this section Wendell Berry speaks to readers as victims of the corporate food industry, held captive by our food choices and our unquestioning and uncritical passiveness when it comes to what we buy, eat and put into our bodies.  He makes this claim based on our distance from our food, we no longer know where it comes from, how it's grown, or how it has come to be on our plate.  Berry also asks us to examine what we consider "quality life."  Do we view quality as the amount of things we participate in and what we're able to do?  This constant busyness often causes us to stop and grab whatever "quick" food we can so that we can keep up our pace and our "quality" of life.  Or do we slow down and enjoy all that life has to offer, eating things that will prolong our lives and help to fuel our bodies, not to mention things that we actually enjoy eating as we go about the activities that we love?

Even if you don't agree with Wendell Berry's agrarian perspective and you couldn't fathom participating and learning about  the food system, this article will make you stop, think and assess what it is that's important to you and how you live.

A Trip Outside the City Gate

This past weekend we had the opportunity to visit Shalom Hill Farms in SW Minnesota.  It's an amazing place where they raise chickens and lambs, have a great garden, live as closely to the land as they can and teach people about their options.  While there we had the opportunity to visit two very different farmers; one a traditional cattle producer who raises beef cattle in a feed lot and the other who is an organic farmer and grows a variety of foods as well as cares for a small herd of beef cattle, chickens and other various animals that are raised organically.  Both these men were passionate about what they do, how they do it and what it means for their families.  It was amazing to see their passion and dedication play out in such a tangible way and it was even better to see where our food comes from.

Amidst this great experience was the opportunity to talk with classmates about food sustainability and how other students want to eat and live.  I was amazed at the number of my companions who feel the same way I do, wanting to know where their food comes from, be connected to the land and to care for and steward the creation in a very tangible way.  Many of us talked about wanting to one day have a large garden or small farm as well as wanting to raise animals.  To me, it appears that this is not the norm, especially for 20 somethings.  But then again maybe it is.  Maybe more people than we think are trapped in cities and suburbs craving something more; a connection to the land and a desire to care for all of creation.  Or maybe people don't think about this until confronted by the land itself, hearing its story and finding this deep desire to be a part of it.

Catholics and Jews Coming Together

My review of the ELCA statement on the environment was a bit criticle, but I'm criticle about most of the ELCA social statements as they never seem to say anything of substance and instead stay on neutral ground, fearful of rocking the boat.

I felt exactly opposite about the International Catholic-Jewish Liaison Committee's "A Common Declaration on the Environment." A Common Declaration on the Environment

This document was short and to the point and simply by its existence pointed to dire need we are in.  Catholics and Jews came together to make a statement on the environment, putting aside their religious differences and focusing instead on what they agree on and what needs to be done.  Although they do not give any concrete ways to "fix" any of the problems faced by the world, they do passionately remind us that we must do something and take action.  They say, "The human person has an immense responsibility, that of caring for all of creation.  No person or group can use the resources of this earth as proprietor, but only as God's steward who destined these goods for all.  Assuring that individuals and communities have access to what is necessary to sustain life in dignity is an expression of this stewardship, as is the reverent and moderate use of created goods."  It is short, sweet, to the point and reminds us of both what we can and cannot do.

ELCA and Their "Statement" on the Environment

Caring for Creation: Vision, Hope and Justice

Oh, the ELCA has produced yet another pointless social statement that says nothing.  Maybe this is a little harsh but after reading such passionate books and articles about why we need to be protecting this world and all that is in it, as well as ways in which we can actively participate in such things, I find this statement to be verbose, lacking passion, drive or anything resembling a call to action.  This document is also almost 9 years old and is in need of some drastic revision, facts and figures to bolster their position and a way to call to attention the extent to which we truly need to be "Caring for Creation."

Although I agree with many of the points made in this statement, I feel they are lacking in a nuanced view of things like stewardship and shalom, not to mention the focus on social justice rather than ecology.  I felt that much of the statement let me, as well as the rest of the world, off the hook by talking about the hope we have in God to restore the Earth rather than a focusing on our actions and inaction to care for this planet which belongs to God.  As I neared the end of the article I found myself irritated at the use of the phrases: "We of the Evangelical Lutheran Church in America answer the call," "We celebrate the vision," "As members of this church, we commit ourselves," "We challenge ourselves," and countless others.  Who the hell is this we?  It certainly is not the general population of the ELCA considering I've heard of very few responses and actions of congregations to do the things mentioned.  Until I went searching, I did not even know we had such a document and yet I'm apparently being challenged to do nothing except study, learn and tithe to reduce my waste by 10%, which although a start is not nearly enough.  Not to mention, this document, although challenging us to reduce our waste does not give us any concrete ways to go about it nor links or references to other documents that might help us move in this direction.  It is my firm opinion that people want to make a difference but don't know where to start.  And so, ELCA, if you're going to challenge people you must give examples of response, not to mention letting people know in an active way that they are being challenged in the first place.

Simplicity? Are You Sure?

Well, it's 9:00 at night.  It's the first time I've stopped "doing" something since I woke up at 7am.  Between the 2 mile run, chiropractor appointment, making and eating meals, work, packing a handful of boxes in preparation for my move in a little over a month and a half (I figure if I just do a little a day it won't make me want to die the two weeks leading up to my wedding) and homework, I haven't stopped moving.  I have checked almost everything off my to do list.  I have been the utter embodiment of productivity! 

And yet...I feel utterly useless, unproductive, wasteful and anxious about all the things I have yet to do.

Monday was a hard day.  I skimmed over 200 pages in a book and wrote a paper on it as well as accomplished a handful of other things.  This pace made me feel an intense anxiety rising up within the core of my being for fear that I might not get it done and if it took an extra day something else later in the week surely wouldn't get done at all.  My life and homework are planned out to the millisecond most days and I wonder why it's so hard to breath and why I fail to enjoy the beautiful days God is putting before me.

Immediately after finishing this large assignment I picked up the next book in the stack and dove in determined to read at least 20 pages before my eyes failed me and refused to stay open.  I had to laugh when I actually read the title, "Simpler Living, Compassionate Life."  My life isn't exactly simple, neither is there much room for it.  And compassion...although something I pride myself on is harder and harder to find as of late.  I keep telling myself, "You just have to make it through the semester and the wedding and the move and things will slow down."  But will they really?  I have pushed myself to a pace that makes me bemoan my life, irritable toward those I love, anxious to get from one thing to the next so that "it all gets done," there is no place, space or time for enjoyment.  It is a painful and depressing state of existence.  And amidst these anxieties and frustrations of my life and my productivity I read "Cultural idols such as materialism, economic growth, and productivity have led us astray."  (13)

Completely ignoring this sentence despite its jumping off the page and smacking me in the face, I pushed on and entered into an essay on mindfulness and the beauty and importance of being mindful in every moment as best we can and still I trudged on as my mind became lethargic and my eyes refused to focus.  I came next to a section on time in which I read "So much of our time is spent in ways that kill our spirit, our capacity to enjoy the moment, to experience the depth of a moment." (39)  And still I continued coming to an essay on space.  In this section I read a sentence that I finally allowed to sink in.  "We know we need rest, but we can no longer see the value of rest as an end in itself; it is only worthwhile if it helps us recharge our batteries so we can be even more efficient in the next period of productivity." (42)  Needless to say, I put down the book and attempted to enjoy those last few moments before sleep found me.  I realized that I NEED what this book has to offer and I will not be rushed through it because of a class deadline.  If it does not get finished in time I will live because I will actually be living and beginning the process of simplifying my life.

Reflection on "Earth in Mind"

I just finished reading David Orr's "Earth in Mind: On Education, Environment and the Human Prospect."  At first I found myself drawn in by David's understanding of and perspective on modern education.  He claims that there is a piece missing, and a very important piece.  He explained education as being stuck in the mind and removed from the tangible daily world we live in.  This made complete sense to me.  I have long been one who has suffered at the hands of the educational institution; feeling displaced and disconnected from the created world, it's people and places, the dirt we walk on and water we drink.  I have craved for a connection between the world of theory and the world of practice.  David's argument made sense to me.  Then he, rather disappointingly, moved into the world of theory.  He moved from a passionate argument for more connected educational practices that link all subjects together so that students may understand the inner workings and connectedness of the world they live in.  An argument for a greater push toward understanding the ecology of the planet, how we fit in and what our economic strategies are doing it to.  An argument for us to open our eyes and innovate new ways of doing things so that there is a world to live in in the coming generations.  This argument which moved through the first 2/3 of the book was passionate and moving.  It called for change but then abruptly changed course to an argument for place, for better food management strategies, for the reruralization of America and a whole host of other things.  I understand that he was trying to show the reader why education is important but, at least for me, only managed to say that in the opening sentence of the last part of the book.  It felt disconnected.

Instead of being the empowering section and movement to action that I think it was intended to be, I instead finished the book feeling as though the problems we are facing felt too big.  I felt defeated.  I felt as though I couldn't possibly tackle any of this in my life time.  It was disappointing.  Until this final section, I had felt empowered to change if nothing else my thinking.  To be conscious of this connection to place and the environment when I raise my children.  To have passionate conversations about ways we can, if not globally or continental, at least change how we life and maybe even our communities live.

Despite this disappointment in the conclusion of this book, I will cling to those revelations made at the outset.  I will cling to the burning question that this book has caused to spring up in me: If we do not do something now and change the way we think and learn and teach people to live in this world, will there even be a world to live in?  This is a question I believe all of us should wrestle with.  There is nothing one single solitary person can do to change anything, but if we all take some time to let these questions of ecology and place and our future enter into our being and then take the time to discern what we are passionate about working toward, then together, each acting upon our own inner drive toward the same end goal, we can move mountains.

Will Our Children Ever Forgive Us?

I held off on this post until I actually finished this fascinating book.  "Living Downstream" by Sandra Steingraber was a phenomenal book that scared the hell out of me, made me cringe, made me angry, made me cry, and most of all made me stop and evaluate pretty well every part of my life.  In this book she beautifully intertwines the science behind the toxins in our world with her own personal story.  We hear how the chemicals we put on our land to control pests or weeds or any number of things, as well as the toxins and waste that are dumped in our landfills among other places effect us on a cellular level.  She talks about the research process and the legislation that has been passed.  She talks about the people that have been effected by it all.  Everything from the ground to our food to our air to our water has been effected.  It doesn't paint a pretty picture for our future.

I found myself asking time and time again about the cost of such practices. (The practices of growing only one government subsidized crop which requires the use of more and more fertilizers and pesticides, the practice of creating genetically engineered crops because the amount of pesticides and fertilizers needed is killing the strains we have, the practice of allowing even "low levels" of certain toxins in our water supply or air, the practice of burning our waste which releases newer and uglier toxins into the air etc, etc, etc.)  How will we recover from such damage?  Is it even possible to recover from the damage we've already done?  How have we so completely lost sight of our neighbors and children to allow for this?  Why is this information not more commonly known?  Will our children ever forgive us?

Maybe most importantly, this book has caused me to think of my children.  Granted I don't have any children, but one day I will and I worry about the world I will bring them into.  Not only is it the world I will bring them into but the world that will be effecting them before they are even born, that will be seeping into their blood and tissue and impacting their future development.  I feel helpless to this fact.  Simply by living and breathing and being in a place that has potential toxins lurking around every corner as well as having a body which could very well be full of those same toxins just ready to strike both myself or my unborn children is enough to make me weep.  And yet, I'm not powerless.  Changing all of this is a daunting task but it is possibly the only task worth pursuing other than for the sheer question: Will our children ever forgive us?

Questions, Questions, Questions

Yesterday, in Grand Forks we found an amazing co-op.  They had beautiful fresh in season vegetables, local and sustainable cheeses, tons of fun grains and pretty much anything I'd ever wanted in a store ever.  It was so much fun to wander around and hear a few details about becoming a member of the co-op and what that could mean for us.  Not sure if we'll do it, but it's something to think about once we know a little more about fresh, local, organic, sustainable food options in our area.  So that was super exciting and I was able to make an amazing meal with all those fresh ingredients along with the beef I found at our local butcher shop.  Not sure how "sustainably" raised the beef was, I'll have to ask when I'm in next, but it was certainly the tastiest beef I've had in a long long long time.

That question is one of many I have had over the last week.  Driving back and forth to Cavalier as well as Grand Forks from Hallock I've had a lot of time to view this beautiful land with it's rich black soil just start to wake up and prepare for growing season.  It's a beautiful place really.  Not as striking and majestic as the Rockies or Appalachians or as haunting and isolated as sprawling forests.  It's even a land that most people would dread driving through; being so flat with seemingly endless fields.  But it's hauntingly beautiful and I know that in the summer each field will have its own unique tint and shape and movement.  This land that we will be so closely connected to for the next two years at the least could have a huge impact on our lives.  No, we won't be farming it.  Instead, our livelihood will be provided for by those who do.  Every breath we breath, every ounce of water and every inch of our home will be connected to those fields.  With the reading I've been doing, I'm realizing how incredibly connected we will be to those fields and the processing plants in the area.  It's brought up a lot of questions.  What kinds of pesticides and fertilizers are used on the fields in the area?  What kinds of farming practices take place?  Do they rotate crops which helps to care for the soil they so greatly depend on?  Where does our water come from?  And what do the answers to the previous questions mean for our water?   I look forward to getting to know the farmers and other people in town who may have some answers. 

The Woes of Hallock

I absolutely love Hallock, which is great since I will soon be living here.  It's a great small town where everyone is personable and caring and pretty much wonderful.  That being said, Hallock is a small, small town.  We do have a grocery store, which is a bit of a luxury but the food option is not always what I've come to know and love.  With my endeavor to live sustainably, I've realized that until summer and the growth of personal gardens and farmers markets in surrounding towns that fresh, local, organic food that has not been transported for hundreds and hundreds of miles is quite difficult.  Our fresh produce is rather limited and often is not as fresh as one would hope.  All these things combined, eating sustainably is virtually impossible or at the very least I will need to be more creative during the harsh winter months.

In meeting with a local pastor this week, she informed me of an organic co-op/grocery store in Grand Forks which I'm going to check out later this week when I head into town.  This may become an option for more sustainable foods until we can get a garden going or get other local produce.  This also creates an interesting dilemma though.  In going to Grand Forks, which we do relatively regularly anyway, we are able to get local, sustainable and organic produce but we are also taking business away from the local grocery store which is important for the sustainability of the town.  It's something Frank and I will have to balance and figure out as we move forward with living sustainably.

Sustainability

No more plastic or paper bags.  No more chemicals, pesticides or antibiotics.  No more produce that has traveled half way around the world.  But plenty of tastiness!

That's right, I'm attempting to live as sustainably as possible.  Well maybe it's not sustainable living as much as it is sustainable eating.  Last week I decided on my care of creation project for my class and will attempt to spend the next 9 weeks if not longer living as sustainably as possible. 

That being said, sustainable eating is proving more difficult than I originally thought.  It's not quite spring and the farmer's markets and local food are not easy to find.  I also had just grocery shopped right before I decided on this care of creation.  So for now I'm finishing up the food I have.  Since I can't get fresh local produce yet, I'll be eating organic and only seasonal fruits and vegetables.  As far as meat goes, I'll be going to the farmer's market to see the local farmers most of which maintain sustainable practices.  Plus the meat is so much tastier than what you can buy in the store.  I'm also going to try to reduce the amount of packaging I bring home.  No more plastic or paper bags for this girl!

We'll see how this goes, but I look forward to reducing the number of antibiotics, pesticides and other chemicals that we all ingest on a regular basis.  I also look forward to supporting local farmers who care for their animals, their produce and their land.  And finally I look forward to eating all the tasty fresh picked vegetables as they come in season and the delicious fresh meat.

Here We Go!

Well here I am again attempting to keep up with a blog.  This time, I have a class that is requiring me to journal about the books/articles we read and our experience with a care of creation practice.  After thinking about this, I decided I'd give an online format a shot.  I'm really excited about the class and where it will lead me.

Over the past year or so I've become increasingly interested in God's creation and how I am connected to it.  That includes of course care of myself along with the environment.  This class seems to fit right into this new way of thinking that I've been exploring and I look forward to learning and growing deeper into the care and exploration of this world we all inhabit.

So stick with me and I'll share my musings and experiences of God's beautiful creation.