Creativity: What's in the Way?

This week I've been thinking a lot about creativity and maybe more importantly what gets in the way.  Creativity is something that flows forth from us humans in amazing ways.  Whether it's being struck by a new idea, trying a new recipe, dancing in our kitchens, painting or any number of other things, creativity seems to sneak in when we least expect it and sometimes it's even hard to recognize it for what it is.  For example, this morning I made chicken wild rice soup for my husband and a few friends who were out on a long bike ride.  I didn't pull out my mom's recipe because by this point it is a part of me.  That being said, the recipe only calls for onion and celery but we had a few more veggies that needed to be used up; carrots, mushrooms, turnips and potatoes so into the pot they all went and it was a huge success.  I do not say this to brag, although it was pretty awesome soup, but to illustrate how mundane creativity can seem.  A few weeks ago I would have never thought of this act of cooking as a moment of creativity.  I love to cook and often spend way too much time looking at recipes online, in magazines, on television or in cookbooks and it's how I show love to those in my life.  But today, I knew the recipe and I took a risk and it turns out that creativity found its way into my normal routine and it was delicious.

And then, I saw this:

And it was amazing and beautiful and joy-filled and it got me thinking about all that creativity is and all that gets in our way.  When I began cooking I followed the recipe to the letter, even when it was a recipe that was taught without one, and let's face it, most the best ones are.  But as I cooked more and more I began to eyeball amounts, make substitutions and completely leave the recipes out of the equation and in so doing have been opened up to creativity sneaking in.  But what was stopping this before?  Well, knowing myself as well as I do, it would be that I was afraid to get it wrong, for the recipe to not turn out right and to disappoint myself and the loved ones I was feeding.  Isn't this so often how we live our lives?  Afraid to try something or be opened up to creativity for fear of not doing it right or it being bad.   As I've begun painting, these are often the thoughts that still wander through my head and sometimes it takes a lot to push them aside, be open, trust myself and let the creative process wash over me rather than try to hold it hostage.

Now, back to the video I posted.  I was amazed at the willingness and joy of those on the street who stepped up to conduct these amazingly tallented musicians.  Some were self conscious and others let go and became a beautiful part of this creative act.  Could these musicians have conducted themselves and given a beautiful street performance?  Yes, of course they could.  But with the willingness of these bystanders to step up and dare to try something new, the music was different than it has ever been or will ever be again; taking on each of their own unique and distinct personalities and styles.  They became a part of this music and were part of creating something beautiful.  They didn't let their negative self talk and worry about doing it right stand in their way and creativity once again quietly slipped in and produced something amazing.

So my hope for myself and for any of you still with me, is that we can boldly step past the negative self talk we have been taught and have built up in our lives and allow creativity to quietly sneak in.

A Beautiful Morning for Painting

Yesterday I had my first adventure with Prayer as Creativity, ok first official adventure with prayer as creativity.  I set aside a few hours on a beautiful sunny morning to spend some time with God and to paint. 

The sun was streaming in the windows, I had a steaming cup of tea, my painting supplies and my favorite meditation partner, Max the cat.

I decided to look at the Psalm for this coming Sunday (Psalm 146) as my grounding point but the gentle breeze coming in through my window kept bringing me to Psalm 148 as well.  Both these Psalms joyfully praise God for all that God has done and created and given.

And so, I painted and after about an hour of reading, meditating and painting this is what found its way out onto the canvas...

And now today, it is time to reflect on what took place in that hour and since then.
During that hour my internal dialogue started off sounding something like "what should I paint?  Should I paint what I hear in the scripture or my deepest darkest prayer?  How do I start?  What color do I start with?  Big brush or little?  Why does an umbrella keep popping into my head?"  And so on, until finally I just told myself to shut up and started, slowly and deliberate and cautiously but I started and it took every ounce of my being to shut myself up, stop worrying if it would be good or not and just paint.  And as I painted and the minutes ticked on it got easier and even the umbrella found a place in my gem of a painting.

When I first finished it, I knew it was what I had set out to paint, I knew that it was my prayer to God but I wasn't entirely sure why.  So the more time I've spent with it and the more I listen to how I have been feeling the more I see what my prayer really was.  Lately, blame it on pregnancy hormones, changing weather or any number of other things, I have been frustrated by the cloud of negativity and doubt and general grumpiness that seems to find its way into my day.  I have been desiring the clouds to break so that I can more fully feel the joys in my life, the joys God has given me.  And this is what I painted, God's grace and love and joy and presence breaking through the clouds of negativity, doubt, pain and fear and not only breaking through these clouds but taking them over and burning them off as the sun burns off the fog in the mornings.  But what about the umbrella that so filled my thoughts?  Well, it's the world, the thing that was created to give us shelter and rest.  Not only does God break through the clouds into my life but He also breaks through the clouds that seem to blanket out world and brings us the promises that only He can bring.

So with this first painting, I got out of my own way and painted a deep prayer to God for renewal and joy without even realizing it.  It's really an amazing and strange experience to get out of your own way and tap into something unknown, unrealized and unspoken and bring it to life.  This makes me eager to continue down this road of prayer and creativity.

Prayer and Creativity

Today officially begins my last class as a Luther Seminary Student!  It's all very exciting and yet feels completely unreal since I still have about five months left of internship.  Oh well, I will take what I can get!  What might be more exciting than the fact that this is my last class is that this is also my first independent study, it focuses on prayer as creativity and I am being guided through it by Trey Everet out of the Micah Institute in Crookston.

Over the next nine weeks, I will be exploring three different areas of creativity: painting, sculpture and movement of some kind (possibly just walking/hiking and possibly belly dancing...only time will tell).  I am planning on spending three weeks exploring each of these areas of creativity and figure out how they fit in with prayer and meditation.  I'll be honest, this is super exciting and yet I feel completely unprepared for what this will look like and mean for my prayer life; maybe it will work and maybe it won't. 

These first three weeks I'm focusing on painting and with a little guidance from Trey we decided on a basic "formula" to start with.  This "formula" is simple, it's ancient and let's hope it works.  It starts with Scripture (possibly a Psalm), followed by some meditation, painting my prayer to God and then reflecting on the process.  Seems pretty simple right?

The biggest struggle for this adventure is getting out of my own way.  I have never painted before, nor have I ever really sculpted and I have a slight tendency to want to make everything perfect or do things the right way, as I'm sure most of us can relate to.  But, throughout this process, the whole goal is to get out of my own way, to move beyond the mind and key into body and emotion and those other aspects of self that we so often push aside.  The goal is a kind of effortless attention to that which is inside of me and letting it flow out and onto paper.  This is one of the most exciting challenges I've faced in a long time and I know that some days will be easier than others but I am excited to enter into a new spiritual practice, learn more about prayer and figure out how to share it with others.  And most of all I'm comforted that there's really no wrong way to do this.