Without a Voice

I have recently fallen prey to allergies.  On Monday I began to notice some extra stuffiness and a little tickle in my throat.  On Thursday I began to notice that my voice was a little rough.  And on Saturday I noticed that I had no voice what so ever.  Of course this happens on a week when my supervising pastor is out of town and it's my responsiblity to not only preach but lead the whole service.  So I began to brainstorm what a service might look like if I couldn't talk.  It turns out it doesn't look all that different.  I knew I could ask someone to chant and find people to read and whatnot but I did try to limit the times I'd be talking for extended times, i.e. the sermon and the prayers.  So the sermon got scrapped and I decided to let the people do the talking with Lectio Devina and I typed up the prayers on the power point and let them read them. 

It was awesome!  Or at least it was for me and I hope it was for them.

They are, of course, the frozen chosen and although they didn't share their thoughts with the larger congregation after Lectio, they did seem to be having good conversation in small groups and many told me they appreciated the exercise and had lots to think about. 

But more importantly, I had time to listen and this was the biggest gift I could have received.  Since I still didn't have much of a voice, it forced me to stop, slow down and listen to the people.  I heard the little old lady behind me sing the Kyrie with gusto but incredibly out of tune and off beat.  I heard the children excited to bring offering forward.  I heard the people of the church profess their faith and lift their prayers to God.  It was amazing!

So I encourage you all, whether with voice or without, to stop and listen to the people around you.  Hear how they sound, the inflection in their voices, their joy and excitement or sorrow and pain and take note of it.  At times I find myself more focused on what comes next in the service or worrying about my sermon that I forget to actually hear the people and their beautiful voices being lifted up to God.  Despite the struggles of the day and the scrambling to get ready, it was an amazing day full of blessings.

Mother's Day

Today, after worship I was wished a happy mother's day by countless people.  Now I know that I'm new but I'm pretty sure they know that I'm not a mother.  In fact, I was even given a flower like the rest of the mothers in attendance.  At first I was taken aback, not sure if I should correct people, thank them or just let it go, chocking it up to old age and forgetfulness (after all some of them probably thought I was Pastor Melodi even though I'm pretty clearly not).  But as the cheerful Mother's Day greetings kept rolling in I found myself thanking them and feeling uplifted.

Now, I've always thought that the way we view "mothers" is entirely too limited.  In today's society, that is so broken and mangled, there is often pain and sorrow surrounding mother's day for more reasons than I even care to count.  We must acknowledge this pain but we must also uplift all those women who "mother" us.  It is not some vague celebration of all women, it's more exclusive than that but it's also not so inclusive that it is restricted to the biological function of giving birth.  It is the personal celebration of those women in our lives who have cared for us, uplifted us, loved us and taught us how to live; all the while remembering that those same women are human and sometimes fall short.

All this got me wondering - When does a woman become a mother?    Is it when she gets pregnant the first time?  When she gives birth?  Or is it something else entirely?  Is it when she first gives voice to her desire to have children?  Is it a feeling or emotion that is indescribably?  Or is it something that just happens one day when you find yourself caring deeply for the well-being of someone else?

I don't have any answers to this, but one thing is for sure, today I felt like a mother and I felt the joy and excitement of being with all those I love and care for both at church and at home.