Social media has a way of connecting us with people and parts of the country that would otherwise be relegated to newspaper stories or family Christmas letters. For better or worse we are now connected to others in ways we previously were not. And that means that sometimes we get sucked into debates that our common sense tells us to otherwise avoid.
And last night I got sucked in and I couldn't remain silent anymore.
With all the posts lately about the shooting in Charleston, the burning of churches and the recent SCOTUS ruling on "Gay Marriage" my facebook feed has been full of pain, fear, anger, and joy. On Friday my feed blew up with people celebrating the fact that people in same gender relationships can now be legally married and recognized as a family and afforded the rights they deserve as human beings in this country. But this week the tables have turned as the news has caught up and I have begun to see posts arguing the "sanctity of marriage" and the fact that our country is now encouraging people to continue in their "sinful" lives.
I have until this point remained silent. I have not celebrated or condemned, I have not stood for or against. I have remained a bystander on this stage where so much is happening so fast and so many with voices louder than mine are booming forth. I have stayed silent, telling myself that I have not yet made a decision, telling myself that this topic has little place in our concervative community, telling myself that I have little to offer on the subject and little ground to stand on as a white, married, woman.
But those were lies I told myself. The truth is that I was afraid. I was afraid to take a stand. Afraid because I do not feel qualified. Afraid of what my family might think or say. Afraid because I grew up in a church full of loving people who think that homosexuality is a sin. Afraid of what my conservative NW MN congregation might think. Afraid that in taking a stand that I might inadvertantly use my position as pastor in a way that might hurt someone.
But last night I got sucked in and could stay silent no more. The more I typed on this facebook argument, the more I realized that I had in fact made my choice and taken my stand. I had chosen to stand boldly with my brothers and sisters in the LGBTQ community. I could stay silent no more as I read hurtful, hateful things under the name of "Christianity" that do nothing other than turn people away from our loving God. Sins are not mine to judge, and to be honest I'm not sure I can even claim homosexuality as a sin. You can quote Bible verses at me all you like and I can quote them back with historical context, show you studies and introduce you to failful loving people who happen to be a member of the LGBTQ community. You will not sway my opinion any more than I will sway yours. My hope is in a God that loves us deeper than we will ever know and that calls us to radical hospitality and love of the neighbor. So I will do that. I will stand here and refuse to be silent anymore. I will claim love for my neighbor whether they are homosexual or black or any number of other thing that makes them one of the least and the last.
And so as my husband wrote in his much more eloquent blog post: http://pawntoking4.blogspot.com/2015/07/why-this-pastor-is-for-same-sex-marriage.html?spref=fb
"I am a sinner; I may be at fault here. I may be interpreting the word of
God wrongly. Lord knows, I can make mistakes. I submit this humbly, but
at least if I make a mistake here it will be out of love for my
neighbor, especially the one who is persecuted. And I will err that way
all day long."
Can we think adultery is wrong and still love our friends who have committed adultery and left their spouses for new ones? Can we love our friends who are alcoholics and still think abuse of alcohol is wrong? Can we be hurt by the lies and wrongdoings of our friends and relatives and still love them? I think I can. I think the love that comes from my Father is great enough that I can love His children without changing His rules.
ReplyDeleteI looked for an email so I could write you this personally, but since there isn't one I will put it here. If you openly blog and leave a comment section, then I'm assuming, I hope rightfully, that you are interested in people's thoughts on what you have written.
ReplyDeleteI am going to call you out, not on your position on homosexuality, but your lack of grace. You are willing to extend grace to people engaging in sexual behaviors that are in the very least scripturally questionable, but not willing to extend that same grace to people who are upset about what the Court has done. Then you, and your husband, have used the bad behavior of a few as your reasoning for coming out in favor of homosexuality. Someone’s bad behavior is not what determines God’s will. You don’t get to decide homosexuality is “okay” because some people were ugly about it. Jesus shamed the persecutors out of stoning the woman caught in adultery, but after they were gone he told her to stop, to stop the adulterous behavior.
If you’ve studied the scriptures, and you’ve come to the conclusion that homosexuality is permissible, then just tell the truth. Say so. Don’t rationalize yourself into being a hero for supporting the “persecuted”. I know many people right now who feel persecuted for opposing gay marriage. I know many people who are deeply saddened and hurt by the Courts decision and who have kept silent. The media is against them, the courts are against them, they’re labeled as bigots and haters. And now their pastors are against them?
What is sacred to you? The church building? The sanctuary? The Holy Communion? Baptism? Your vestments? Your Bible? If someone took that thing you hold sacred and smeared it around in the mud, or let a dog lay on it, or the cat pee on it how would you feel? Try and understand, for many Christians this is a quantum leap. Our court system has just taken something they hold as very sacred and put something they consider vile into it. Many Christian people, and non-Christians, view the act of sodomy as a vile behavior. And the court is now telling them that is going to be a part of one of the most holy and sacred acts of their faith. Holy matrimony. Those people are just as deserving of your grace as the gay community.
Vicki, I sincerely hope that by posting this I did not say that I do not extend God's grace to those who are straight, because I most certainly do. Like I said in my post, this is a topic I have struggled with for a long time because there are many faithful Christians in my life who do not agree with where I am taking a stand. I also am not opposed to conversation but I will not get drawn into a debate because no one ever changes their perspective and it only becomes hurtful.
DeleteI would like to comment on a few of your points. First, when it comes to addiction and adultery, those actions are hurtful both to the self and others in our lives as well as places things and other people above our God. Two people loving and marrying does not do this. Second, the court's decision takes nothing away from those who have always had the legal right to marry. Churches still have the right to refuse marriage to anyone no mater their race or sexual orientation. Members of the LGBTQ community simply have the right to be married under the law which means they have the same rights to health care, taxes, name changes, etc as any straight couple married by a justice of the peace or a church leader.
Finally, I think the biggest point here is that you consider homosexuality a sin, and after all my studying and praying I cannot say the same. I know this is a point of contention and on this point we will simply have to agree to disagree.
I really am not looking for a debate. I know that there are people with differing points of view and you are certainly entitled to yours. This post was in the spirit of sharing with those I love, not the world, where I stand.
God's blessings to you